OZARKA COLLEGE

The below writing by T. Jimma Morte is taken from the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance website and can be found at http://www.vadv.org/fullsiteindex.html.

    

In Order to Heal, It’s Not Necessary…..

 

… for our perpetrator(s) to acknowledge the abuse. We are strong, intelligent and capable beings. We know in our hearts, our bodies and our souls the truth of our past. We survived without their help and we can most certainly heal without their assistance. It is our right to own our survival, as well as our healing, no matter to what degree they are in denial.

 

…to forget, as in “forgive and forget,” as we must never forget. Until our society is relieved of the epidemic of all violence, we must continue to keep this issue in the forefront. This is the only way in which we can stop the cycle of abuse.

 

…. To forgive ourselves. For we, as survivors, have done absolutely nothing to be forgiven for. We did not ask to be assaulted and our lives torn apart. We were held captive by the manipulation and threats of our abusers.

 

….To relive every painful event. We have lived the pain --- every treacherous, excruciating and agonizing moment. We need not return to the origin of each abusive act. We need only a point of reference, an idea and understanding of what we must work through to successfully recover and heal.

 

…. To “prove” our abuse. We do have proof, even if the visual scars and bruises have long since disappeared. We carry with us the irrefutable truth of our memories. We do have proof, proof in many forms which most of us will carry with us, at least at some level, throughout the rest of our lives. We know what our perpetrators did and we carry in our bodies, hearts and memories all the proof we need.

 

…to directly confront our perpetrator(s). For to do so, in many cases, would only bring even more pain. In some cases, it might even threaten our lives. We have traveled that long and painful path from victim to survivor. We truly do not need to jeopardize our life and well-being, or the safety of our present day friends and loved ones, for we know our truth. We know the perpetrator(s) already know the truth.

 

…to share the same belief system as others. For each of us to have survived, we must have an incredible inner strength. Not all sexual assault victims have been as fortunate as we have been, to find and carry with us this power within. Along with this inner strength, we each had our own individual belief system that helped us survive those endless days and unimaginable nights. We must honor those strengths, those found within and those given by mother earth, nature, the universe or an individual’s higher power. Question not other survivor’s beliefs and centers of strength, but honor them as you do your own. Celebrate together that we have truly made it through to the other side and the road traveled surpasses surviving and moves onto the path of thriving.

                                                                                                By T. Jimma Morte