Tips for Testifying in Court

If you are a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault or stalking, your testimony will likely be needed in court.  While perusing the web I found an article written by a divorce lawyer with general instructions about testifying in court.  The below url will take you to Tips for Testifying in Court by John K. Grubb, Esquire.  If you are a victim of domestic violence, there are victim advocates available at the local women's advocacy organizations such as SACS in Sharp County, Safe Passage in Izard and Fulton County and SCAPS in Stone County.  The victim advocate can attend court with you and help coach you on being an effective witness on your behalf.  If you are an Ozarka student and need someone to connect you with one of these agencies, stop by my office (Joan Stirling) on the Melbourne campus in the Administration Building, call my office (368-2007) or email me (jstirling@ozarka.edu.).

http://www.divorcehq.com/articles/testifying.html

10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT STALKING

The below information was taken from the Stalking Resource Center at http://www.ncvc.org/src/AGP.Net/Components/DocumentViewer/Download.aspxnz?DocumentID=37605.  For additional information or assistance for Ozarka students and employees, contact Joan Stirling (368-2007, jstirling@ozarka.edu) in the Administration Building in the office suite behind the Finance Office.

1. Stalking is a crime.

Stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that places a reasonable

person in fear for her or his safety. It is against the law in every state. Stalking across

state lines or in federal territories is illegal under federal law.

2. Many people are stalked.

1 in 12 twelve women and 1 in 45 men will be stalked in their lifetimes.

1.4 million people are stalked every year in the United States.

3. Stalking can be very dangerous.

76 percent of women killed by their intimate partners were stalked by these partners

before they were killed. All stalkers should be considered unpredictable and very

dangerous.

4. Stalking is harmful and intrusive.

Stalking victims often lose time from work or never return to work, and some even

relocate to regain a sense of safety. Many suffer from anxiety, insomnia, and severe

depression as a result of being stalked.

5. Anyone can be stalked— not just celebrities.

The vast majority of stalking victims are ordinary people. Furthermore, most stalkers

are not strangers, but are known by their victim.

6. Stalking can occur during a relationship, after a relationship, or in the

Stalking often begins during a relationship. Stalkers may keep the victim under

surveillance or threaten her or him. Others begin stalking after the victim has ended

the relationship, and the stalker feels desperate to maintain or regain control. Still

others become fixated on a victim without ever having had any relationship with the

person. All forms of stalking are unpredictable, and all should be considered

dangerous.

7. Technology can be used to stalk.

Although newly-developed technology enhances our lives, it can also empower

criminals. Cell phones, computers, and surveillance equipment are just some of the

technologies stalkers now use.

8. An effective response to stalking includes the entire community.

Police, prosecutors, advocates, educators, reporters, neighbors … everyone can and

should play a part in stopping stalking. Working together, we can make victims safer.

9. You can make a difference.

Visit

www.ncvc.org/src to learn more about stalking and how to fight it.

10. Help is available.

If you or someone you know is being stalked, call 1-800-FYI-CALL for assistance.

 



Teenagers Often Experience Violence in Dating Relationships

The information below was taken from the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the full article can be found at:  http://www.acadv.org/dating.html.

Teenagers often experience violence in dating relationships. Statistics show that one in three teenagers has experienced violence in a dating relationship. In dating violence, one partner tries to maintain power and control over the other through abuse. Dating violence crosses all racial, economic and social lines. Most victims are young women, who are also at greater risk for serious injury. Young women need a dating safety plan.


Teen dating violence often is hidden because teenagers typically:

  • are inexperienced with dating relationships.
  • are pressured by peers to act violently.
  • want independence from parents.
  • have "romantic" views of love.
Teen dating violence is influenced by how teenagers look at themselves and others.

Young men may believe:

  • they have the right to "control" their female partners in any way necessary.
  • "masculinity" is physical aggressiveness
  • they "possess" their partner.
  • they should demand intimacy.
  • they may lose respect if they are attentive and supportive toward their girlfriends.
Young women may believe:
  • they are responsible for solving problems in their relationships
  • their boyfriend's jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse, is "romantic."
  • abuse is "normal" because their friends are also being abused.
  • there is no one to ask for help.

Teenagers can choose better relationships when they learn to identify the early warning signs of an abusive relationship, understand that they have choices, and believe they are valuable people who deserve to be treated with respect.

 

Early warning signs that your date may eventually become abusive:

  • Extreme jealousy
  • Controlling behavior
  • Quick involvement
  • Unpredictable mood swings
  • Alcohol and drug use
  • Explosive anger
  • Isolates you from friends and family
  • Uses force during an argument
  • Shows hypersensitivity
  • Believes in rigid sex roles
  • Blames others for his problems or feelings
  • Cruel to animals or children
  • Verbally abusive
  • Abused former partners
  • Threatens violence

Common clues that indicate a teenager may be experiencing dating violence:

  • Physical signs of injury
  • Truancy, dropping out of school
  • Failing grades
  • Indecision
  • Changes in mood or personality
  • Use of drugs/alcohol
  • Pregnancy
  • Emotional outburst
  • Isolation


If you are an Ozarka College student who needs more information, see Joan Stirling, Director of Planning and Special Projects, Main Building, 870-368-2007, jstirling@ozarka.edu.

RAPE AS A MEN'S ISSUE: Why Should Men Care About Rape?

The below article was taken from the Men Can Stop Rape website and is found at http://www.mencanstoprape.org/info-url2699/info-url_show.htm?doc_id=49607.


Why should men care about sexual violence?


1. Men rape

The great majority of all sexually violent crimes are committed by males. Even when men are sexually victimized, other men are most often the perpetrators.

2. Men ARE raped
We don't like to think about it, and we don't like to talk about it, but the fact is that men can also be sexually victimized. Studies show that a staggering 10-20% of all males are sexually violated at some point in their lifetimes. Men are not immune to the epidemic of sexual violence, nor are male survivors safe from the stigma that society attaches to victims of rape. Male survivors are often disbelieved, accused of being gay, or blamed for their own victimization when they report an incident of sexual assault. Frequently, they respond, as do many female survivors, by remaining silent and suffering alone.

3. Rape confines men
When some men rape, and when 80% of those who are raped know the man who attacked them, it becomes virtually impossible to distinguish men who are safe from men who are dangerous, men who can be trusted from men who can't, men who will rape from men who won't. The result is a society with its guard up, where relationships with men are approached with fear and mistrust, where intimacy is limited by the constant threat of violence, and where all men are labeled "potential rapists."

4. Men know survivors
At some point in every man's life, someone close to him will likely disclose that they are a survivor of sexual violence and ask for help. Men must be prepared to respond with care, sensitivity, compassion, and understanding. Ignorance on the part of men about the situation of rape and its impact can only hinder the healing process and may even contribute to the survivor's feeling further victimized. A supportive male presence during a survivor's recovery, however, can be invaluable.

5. Men can stop rape
Rape is a choice men make to use sex as a weapon for power and control. For rape to stop, men who are violent must be empowered to make different choices. All men can play a vital role in this process by challenging rape supporting attitudes and behaviors and raising awareness about the damaging impact of sexual violence. Every time a man's voice joins those of women in speaking out against rape, the world becomes safer for us all.

Stalking Questions and Answers

These questions and answers on stalking are taken from the Stalking Resource Center website at http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_Questions_and_Answers109

What is Stalking?

The legal definition of stalking is defined primarily by state statutes. While statutes vary, most define stalking as a course of conduct that places a person in fear for their safety.

However, the term "stalking" is more commonly used to describe specific kinds of behavior directed at a particular person, such as harassing or threatening another person. But the variety of specific strategies employed and behaviors displayed by stalkers are limited only by the creativity and ingenuity of the stalkers themselves. Suffice it to say, virtually any unwanted contact between a stalker and their victim which directly or indirectly communicates a threat or places the victim in fear can generally be referred to as stalking.

Is Stalking a New Phenomenon?

No -- the history of stalking behavior is as old as the history of human relationships. Stalking has always been with us -- what is new is that, until recently, it was never labeled as a separate and distinct class of deviant behavior. Prior to its common usage and its subsequent designation as a crime, stalking was referred to as harassment, annoyance or, in some cases, simply as domestic violence.

In the late 1980s and early 1990s, numerous high-profile cases involving celebrities began to catch the attention of the media and public policy leaders. Only then did such behavior begin to be described as "stalking."

Since then, stalking has become a common subject in the popular media. With the advent of blockbuster films -- such as Fatal Attraction, Cape Fear, and Sleeping with the Enemy -- and its coverage by the news media, "stalking" has become a household word.

How Common is Stalking?

Unlike most violent crimes, law enforcement officials do not track the incidences of stalking offenses as part of their normal crime reporting process. Since there has been virtually no empirical data available, no one knows just how common stalking cases are in the United States.

Best estimates indicate that as many as 200,000 Americans are currently being stalked; moreover, 1 in 20 women will become targets of stalking behavior at least once during their lifetimes. With the passage of the 1994 Crime Bill by the U.S. Congress, which mandated the tracking and compilation of stalking crime statistics, experts will be able to determine the prevalence of this crime for the first time.

Who Are Stalkers?

Demographically:

Stalking is a gender neutral crime, with both male and female perpetrators and victims. However, most stalkers are men. Best statistics indicate that 75-80 percent (75-80%) of all stalking cases involve men stalking women. Most tend to fall into the young to middle-aged categories. Most have above-average intelligence. Stalkers come from every walk of life and every socio-economic background. Virtually anyone can be a stalker, just as anyone can be a stalking victim.

Psychological and Behavioral Profile of Stalkers:

Unfortunately, there is no single psychological or behavioral profile for stalkers. In fact, many experts believe that every stalker is different, making it very difficult not only to categorize their behavior, but doubly difficult to devise effective strategies to cope with such behavior.

Forensic psychologists, who study criminal behavior, are just beginning to examine the minds and motives of stalkers. These psychologists have identified two broad categories of stalkers and stalking behavior -- "Love Obsession" and "Simple Obsession."

Love Obsession Stalkers

This category is characterized by stalkers who develop a love obsession or fixation on another person with whom they have no personal relationship. The target may be only a casual acquaintance or even a complete stranger. This category represents about 20-25 percent (20-25%) of all stalking cases.

Stalkers who stalk celebrities and stars -- such as David Letterman, Jodie Foster, and Madonna -- fall into the category of love obsessionists; however, stalkers in this category also include those who develop fixations on regular, ordinary people -- including co-workers, their aerobics instructor, casual acquaintances or people they pass in the street.

The vast majority of love obsessional stalkers suffer from a mental disorder -- often schizophrenia or paranoia. Regardless of the specific disorder, nearly all display some delusional thought patterns and behaviors. Since most are unable to develop normal personal relationships through more conventional and socially acceptable means, they retreat to a life of fantasy relationships with persons they hardly know, if at all. They invent fictional stories -- complete with what is to them real-life scripts -- which cast their unwilling victims in the lead role as their own love interest. They then attempt to act out their fictional plots in the real world.

The woman who has stalked David Letterman for five years truly believes she is his wife. She has been discovered on Mr. Letterman's property numerous times, has been arrested driving his car and has even appeared at his residence with her own child in tow -- each time insisting that she is David Letterman's wife.

Love obsessional stalkers not only attempt to live out their fantasies, but expect their victims to play their assigned roles as well. They believe they can make the object of their affection love them. They desperately want to establish a positive personal relationship with their victim. When the victim refuses to follow the script or doesn't respond as the stalker hopes, they may attempt to force the victim to comply by use of threats and intimidation.

When threats and intimidation fail, some stalkers turn to violence. Some decide that if they cannot be a positive part of their victim's life, they will be part of their life in a negative way. Some even go so far as to murder their victims in a twisted attempt to romantically link themselves to their victim forever. This was the case with the man who shot and killed Rebecca Schaffer, the young actress and star of the television show My Sister Sam.

Simple Obsession Stalkers

This second category represents 70-80 percent (70-80%) of all stalking cases and is distinguished by the fact that some previous personal or romantic relationship existed between the stalker and the victim before the stalking behavior began.

Virtually all domestic violence cases involving stalking fall under this rubric, as do casual dating relationships (commonly referred to as Fatal Attraction cases, named after the popular movie by the same title).

While this kind of stalker may or may not have psychological disorders, all clearly have personality disorders. One forensic psychologist has attempted to identify some of the common personality traits and behavioral characteristics among this category of stalkers. Stalkers in this class are characterized as individuals who are:

  • Socially maladjusted and inept;
  • Emotionally immature;
  • Often subject to feelings of powerlessness;
  • Unable to succeed in relationships by socially-acceptable means;
  • Jealous, bordering on paranoid; and
  • Extremely insecure about themselves and suffering from low self-esteem.

The self-esteem of simple obsession stalkers is often closely tied to their relationship with their partner. In many cases, such stalkers bolster their own self-esteem by dominating and intimidating their mates. Exercising power over another gives them some sense of power in a world where they otherwise feel powerless. In extreme cases, such personalities attempt to control every aspect of their partner's life. This behavior pat-tern was vividly depicted in the major motion picture entitled Sleeping with the Enemy, where the antagonist turns to intimidation and violence as the means to control every aspect of his victim/wife's life.

Since the victim literally becomes the stalker's primary source of self-esteem, their greatest fear becomes the loss of this person. Their own self-worth is so closely tied to the victim that when they are deprived of that person, they may feel that their own life is without worth.

It is exactly this dynamic that makes simple obsession stalkers so dangerous. In the most acute cases, such stalkers will literally stop at nothing to regain their "lost possession" -- their partner -- and in so doing, regain their lost self-esteem.

Just as with most domestic violence cases, stalkers are the most dangerous when they are first deprived of their source of power and self-esteem; in other words, the time when their victims determine to physically remove themselves from the offender's presence on a permanent basis by leaving the relationship.

Indeed, stalking cases which emerge from domestic violence situations constitute the most common and potentially lethal class of stalking cases. Domestic violence victims who leave an abusive relationship run a 75 percent (75%) higher risk of being murdered by their partners.

Stalking behavior is as diverse as the stalkers themselves. Yet behavioral experts are beginning to identify patterns in the cycle of violence displayed by simple obsession stalkers.

Stalking Behavior Patterns and Cycles:

Stalking behavior patterns closely mirror those common in many domestic violence cases. The pattern is usually triggered when the stalker's advances toward their victim is frustrated -- regardless of whether the stalker is seeking to establish a personal relationship or continue a previously established relationship contrary to the wishes of the victim.

The stalker may attempt to woo their victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candy and love letters, in an attempt to "prove their love." However, when the victim spurns their unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation. Such attempts at intimidation often begin in the form of an unjustified, jealous and inappropriate intrusion into the victim's life. Often these contacts become more numerous and intrusive over time, until such collective conduct becomes a persistent pattern of harassment. Many times, harassing behavior escalates to threatening behavior. Such threats may be direct or indirect and communicated explicitly or implicitly by the stalker's conduct. Unfortunately, cases that reach this level of seriousness too often end in violence and/or murder.

Stalkers, unable to establish or re-establish a relationship of power and control over their victims, turn to violence as a means of reasserting their domination over the victim. In some cases, offenders are even willing to kill their victims and themselves in a last, desperate attempt to assert their domination over the victim.

The evolution of the stalker's thought pattern progresses from, "If I can just prove to you how much I love you," to "I can make you love me," to "If I can't have you, nobody else will."

While this progression in behavior is common, no stalking case is completely predictable. Some stalkers may never escalate past the first stage. Others jump from the first stage to the last stage with little warning. Still others regress to previous stages before advancing to the next. It is not uncommon to see stalkers intersperse episodes of threats and violence with flowers and love letters.

As difficult as it is to predict what a stalker might do, it is at least as difficult to predict when he might do it. A few stalkers will progress to later stages in only a few weeks or even days. In other cases, stalkers who have engaged in some of the most serious stalking behaviors may go months or even years without attempting a subsequent contact.

It is this unpredictability that makes developing an effective response strategy so difficult in any particular stalking case. (See INFOLINK, No. 47, "Stalking: Safety Plan Guidelines" for more information.)

Dating Violence Power and Control Wheel Followed by the Equality Wheel

The following information was taken from the Michigan.gov website and each of the wheels below can be accessed from the following url:  http://www.michigan.gov/datingviolence/0,1607,7-233-46553---,00.html.

It's About Power and Control

 

This wheel represents a snapshot of what a violent teen dating relationship looks like. While it doesn't cover every survivor's experience, it does portray the most common tactics teen abusers use against their dating partners.

You will notice that the center, or hub, of the wheel is "Power and Control." This is at the very heart of this wheel because power and control are the reasons abusers choose to use violence and other tactics against their dating partners. They want complete power over and control of their partners.

In order to get that power and control, most teen abusers start out very slyly using the various tactics - or spokes - of the wheel, but usually increase their use of them over time. These include anger/emotional abuse, using social status, intimidation, minimize/deny/blame, threats, sexual coercion, isolation/exclusion and peer pressure.

The outer rim of the wheel is physical violence as violent acts or the threat of violent acts are what abusers use to get and keep their power and control over their dating partners.

Here is an easily printable version of the Power and Control Wheel.

Teen Power and Control Wheel



It Should Be About Equality

 

This wheel represents the various elements of teen dating relationships based on equality. You'll notice how very different this wheel is from the Teen Power and Control Wheel. Instead of being about getting power and control over a dating partner, a relationship based on equality involves traits like fairness, communication, respect, trust, support and honesty. Check it out!

Here is an easily printable version of the Equality Wheel.

Teen Relationship Equality Wheel Shared Responsibility. Mutually agreeing on fair distribution of work. Making desisions together. Sharing parenting responsibilities when there are children. Communication. Communicating openly and truthfully. Being honest to oneself and to one's own feelings. Negotiation and Fairness. Seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict. Accepting change. Being willing to compromise. Non-Threatening Behavior. Talking and acting to make your partner feel safe to express him/herself. Commitment not to use threats or manipulative actions. Respect. Listening non-judgementally. Being emotionally affirming and understanding. Valuing opinions. Trust and Support. Supporting each other's goals. respecting each other's rights and individual feelings, friends, activities and opinions. Overcoming jealousy issues of envy. Independence and Autonomy. Recognizing interdependence. Awareness of dependence needs. Accepting individual separateness. Fostering individual identity. Honesty and Accountability. Accepting responsibility for self. Acknowledging if there has been past use of violence.




In Order to Heal, It's Not Necessary....

The below writing by T. Jimma Morte is taken from the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance website and can be found at http://www.vadv.org/fullsiteindex.html.
    
In Order to Heal, It’s Not Necessary…..
 
… for our perpetrator(s) to acknowledge the abuse. We are strong, intelligent and capable beings. We know in our hearts, our bodies and our souls the truth of our past. We survived without their help and we can most certainly heal without their assistance. It is our right to own our survival, as well as our healing, no matter to what degree they are in denial.
 
…to forget, as in “forgive and forget,” as we must never forget. Until our society is relieved of the epidemic of all violence, we must continue to keep this issue in the forefront. This is the only way in which we can stop the cycle of abuse.
 
…. To forgive ourselves. For we, as survivors, have done absolutely nothing to be forgiven for. We did not ask to be assaulted and our lives torn apart. We were held captive by the manipulation and threats of our abusers.
 
….To relive every painful event. We have lived the pain --- every treacherous, excruciating and agonizing moment. We need not return to the origin of each abusive act. We need only a point of reference, an idea and understanding of what we must work through to successfully recover and heal.
 
…. To “prove” our abuse. We do have proof, even if the visual scars and bruises have long since disappeared. We carry with us the irrefutable truth of our memories. We do have proof, proof in many forms which most of us will carry with us, at least at some level, throughout the rest of our lives. We know what our perpetrators did and we carry in our bodies, hearts and memories all the proof we need.
 
…to directly confront our perpetrator(s). For to do so, in many cases, would only bring even more pain. In some cases, it might even threaten our lives. We have traveled that long and painful path from victim to survivor. We truly do not need to jeopardize our life and well-being, or the safety of our present day friends and loved ones, for we know our truth. We know the perpetrator(s) already know the truth.
 
…to share the same belief system as others. For each of us to have survived, we must have an incredible inner strength. Not all sexual assault victims have been as fortunate as we have been, to find and carry with us this power within. Along with this inner strength, we each had our own individual belief system that helped us survive those endless days and unimaginable nights. We must honor those strengths, those found within and those given by mother earth, nature, the universe or an individual’s higher power. Question not other survivor’s beliefs and centers of strength, but honor them as you do your own. Celebrate together that we have truly made it through to the other side and the road traveled surpasses surviving and moves onto the path of thriving.
                                                                                                By T. Jimma Morte

Becoming Whole Again: Healing after Sexual Assault

A brochure from the University of Texas on healing after sexual assault can be accesses by clicking on the following url:  http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/rape/rape.html.

 

An Abuser May Try to "Win" Her Back

The below information was taken from a more indepth article from the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence website at http://www.acadv.org/abusers.html

Abusers may try to manipulate their partners, especially after a violent episode.

He may try to "win" her back in some of these ways:

  • Invoking sympathy from her, her family and friends.
  • Talking about his "difficult childhood".
  • Becoming overly charming, reminding her of the good times they've had.
  • Bringing romantic gifts, flowers, dinner.
  • Crying, begging for forgiveness.
  • Promising it will "never happen again."
  • Promising to get counseling, to change.

Abuse gets worse and more frequent over time

Understanding Domestic Abuse: What is Economic Abuse?

The below information was taken from the Allstate Foundation Domestic Violence website at:  http://www.econempowerment.org/uda_definition.htm.

What is Economic Abuse?

A complex combination of psychological, cultural, religious, familial and economic factors contribute to a victim’s decision to remain in or leave an abusive relationship. However, domestic violence victims frequently cite income, employment and financial stability as the strongest, most immediate deterrents to leaving abusive situations. The devastation of leaving a home, income, benefits and economic security behind are struggles that all victims of domestic violence must overcome, regardless of their education, job skills and personal earning potential, if they are to care for their families and live more safe and secure lives.

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, evidence has shown that women with economic skills are more likely to leave abusive situations and sustain themselves and their families on a long–term basis. Because the path to economic empowerment requires time searching for jobs, participating in job–readiness programs, finding affordable housing and childcare options, repairing credit damaged by abusive partners, and dealing with the day–to–day challenges of taking care of a family, it is not surprising that survivors of domestic violence need unique assistance to become economically secure.

Economic abuse is a tactic used to control a relationship by preventing access to money or other economic resources. It might include:

  • Controlling how money is spent
  • Withholding money
  • Withholding basic living resources, medication or food
  • Not allowing the victim to work or earn money
  • Stealing the victim’s identity, money, credit or property

To determine whether you are being abused economically, answer these questions below.

Does your partner:

  • Steal money from you or your family?
  • Force you to give him or her access to your accounts?
  • Make you feel as though you don’t have a right to know any details about money or household resources?
  • Make financial or investment decisions that affect you or the family without consulting or reaching agreement with you?
  • Refuse to include you in important meetings with banks, financial planners or retirement specialists?
  • Prevent or forbid you to work or attend school or skill–training sessions?
  • Overuse your credit cards or refuse to pay the bills (thus ruining your credit)?
  • Force you to file fraudulent tax claims?
  • Prevent you from owning or using credit cards or bank cards?
  • Withhold physical resources including food, clothes, necessary medications or shelter from you?
  • Force you to work in a family business for little or no pay?
  • Refuse to work to help support the family?
  • Interfere with work performance through harassing and monitoring activities like frequent telephone calls or visits to your workplace?
  • Force you to turn over your benefit payments?
  • Threaten to report you for “cheating” on your benefits so that your benefits will be cut off, even if you aren’t cheating?
  • Force you to cash in, sell or sign over any financial assets or inheritance you own (e.g., bonds, stock or property)?
  • Force you to agree to power-of-attorney so he can sign legal documents without your knowledge?

More Entries





myOzarka login Dropdown Arrow





forgotten password? | register new account

myOzarka support contacts
email: helpdesk@ozarka.edu
phone: 870.368.2021


Are you ready to change your life?