Internet Safety from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

The below article was taken from the website of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence at http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/InternetSafety_121.html.

Internet Safety

WARNING

Taking all of the actions on this page may not prevent an abuser from discovering your email and Internet activity. The safest way to find information on the Internet is to go to a safer computer. Some suggestions would be your local library, a friend's house or your workplace. Other safety suggestions: Change your password often, do not pick obvious words or numbers for your password, and make sure to include a combination of letters and numbers for your password.

HOW AN ABUSER CAN TRACK YOUR ACTIVITIES

Email

If an abuser has access to your email account, he or she may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. Even if you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess.

If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing email messages, you can print and save them as evidence of this abuse. These messages may also constitute a federal offense. For more information on this issue, contact your local United States Attorney's Office.

ERASING YOUR TRACKS

History/cache file

If an abuser knows how to read your computer's history of cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed on the Internet.

You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your brower's settings*

Netscape:

Pull down Edit menu, select Preferences. Click on Navigator or choose "Clear History". Click on Advanced then select Cache. Click on "Clear Disk Cache".

Internet Explorer:

Pull down Tools menu, select Internet Options. On General page under Temporary Internet Files, Click on Delete Files. If asked, check the box to delete all offline content. Still within the Temporary Internet Files section, click on Setting (This step may make it harder to navigate pages where you would like your information to be remembered, but these remaining cookies do show website pages you have visited. Therefore, use your own judgment as to whether or not to take this next step). Click on "View Files", Manually highlight all the files (cookies) shown, then hit Delete. Close that window, then on General page under History section, click on "Clear History."

AOL:

Pull down Members menu, select Preferences. Click on WWW icon. Then select Advanced. Purge Cache.

Additionally, you need to make sure that the "Use Inline Autocomplete" box is NOT checked. This function will complete partial web addresses while typing location in the address bar at the top of the browser.

If you are using Internet Explorer, this box can be found on the MS Internet Explorer Page by clicking on "Tools" at the top of the screen, then "Internet Options" and then the "Advanced" tab. About halfway down there is a "Use Inline Autocomplete" box that can be checked or unchecked by clicking on it. Uncheck the box to disable the feature that automatically completes an Internet address when you start typing in the Internet address box.

*This information may not completely hide your tracks. Many browser types have features that display recently visited sites. The safest way to find information on the Internet would be at a local library, a friend's house, or at work.

For help call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) TTY 1-800-787-3224

Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

The below article was taken from the website maintained by Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence at http://www.mcedv.org/getinvolved/relationships.htm.

 

Be a Role Model: Treat Your Partner with Love and Respect

Studies show that people who have healthy relationships are happier and have less stress. Healthy relationships encouarage individuality, freedom, and provide room for personal growth. Every relationship is different, but their are a few characterisitics that make healthy relationships possible. It is important for both people in a relationship to recognize that any violence is unacceptable.

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

mutual respect

  • You can say “no” without feeling guilty about it.
  • Your partner does not try to change or control you when you disagree.
  • You and your partner acknowledge how great the other person is.
  • Mistakes are accepted and learned from.
  • Boundaries are respected and your partner listens to you.

support

  • You and your partner are there for each other to celebrate when things are going well and to help when things are not going well.

trust/honesty

  • You trust each other. You feel trust and you have reason to trust. You each work hard to be trustworthy for the other.
  • You feel safe and comfortable with each other.
  • There is a willingness to take risks and be vulnerable.
  • You and your partner are honest with each other.

good communication

  • Communication is open and spontaneous. You listen to each other and feel that you are heard. You make decisions together.
  • You can express your feelings without fear of your partner’s reactions.
  • Feelings and needs are expressed, appreciated, and respected by both.
  • Conflict is faced directly and resolved with win-win outcomes..
  • Rules and boundaries are clear and defined, yet allow for flexibility if you desire change. Both of you feel free to express your needs.

separate identities

  • You can be together as a couple without losing your sense of self. Each person feels self-confident and secure in his/her own worth.
  • Personal growth, change, and exploration are encouraged for each and by each partner.
  • Each person can enjoy being alone and requests for privacy are respected.

fairness/equality

  • Partners are fair when they work things out.
  • Tolerance -- forgiveness of self and others -- is present.
  • You each take responsibility for your own behaviors and happiness (one doesn’t blame the other for feelings or things that happen).
  • You are able to let go of the need to “be right.”.
  • There is a balance of giving and receiving in your relationship. Equality is both affirmed and celebrated.

Not every unhealthy relationship is abusive.

Information compiled from:

  • Sojourner House’s Healthy Dating Relationships Resource Guide. And SEALS II: Self-esteem and Life Skills, Too by Kathy L Korh-Khalsa, Estelle A. Leutenberg and Stacy D. Azok (Wellness Reproductions. Inc. 1996)
  • http://kidshealth.org/teen/

 

The Four Types of Abuse Associated with Domestic Violence

Below is an excertp from A Framework for Understanding the Nature and Dynamics of Domestic Violence prepared by the The Missouri Coalition against Domestic and Sexual Violence.  The entire framework can be found at:  http://www.mocadsv.org/Resources/CMSResources//pdf/dv101.pdf.

THE FOUR TYPES OF ABUSE
 
Abuse can take on many forms. Some types are more subtle than others and might never be seen or felt by anyone other than the woman experiencing the abuse. The abuser uses a combination of tactics that work to control the victim. The abuse also usually increases in frequency and severity over time.
 
PHYSICAL ABUSE
 
Physical abuse is easier to recognize and understand than other types of abuse. It can be indicated when the batterer:
  • Scratches, bites, grabs or spits at a current or former intimate partner.
  • Shakes, shoves, pushes, restrains or throws her.
  • Twists, slaps, punches, strangles or burns the victim.
  • Throws objects at her.
  • Subjects her to reckless driving.
  • Locks her in or out of the house.
  • Refuses to help when she’s sick, injured or pregnant, or withholds medication or treatment.
  • Withholds food as punishment.
  • Abuses her at mealtime, which disrupts eating patterns and can result in malnutrition.
  • Abuses her at night, which disrupts sleeping patterns and can result in sleep deprivation.
  • Attacks her with weapons or kills her.
 
SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND ABUSE
 
Sexual violence and abuse can be extraordinarily difficult for victims to talk about because of the ways in which this type of violence often is perpetrated. Sexual violence or abuse can be indicated when the batterer:
  • Is jealously angry and assumes she will have sex with anyone.
  • Withholds sex and affection as punishment.
  • Calls her sexual names.
  • Pressures her to have sex when she doesn’t want to.
  • Insists that his partner dress in a more sexual way than she wants.
  • Coerces sex by manipulation or threats.
  • Physically forces sex or is sexually violent.
  • Coerces her into sexual acts that she is uncomfortable with, such as sex with a third party, physically painful sex, sexual activity she finds offensive or verbal degradation during sex.
  • Inflects injuries that are sex-specific.
  • Denies the victim contraception or protection against sexually transmitted diseases.
 
PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE
 
It is the abuser’s use of physical and sexual force or threats that gives power to his psychologically abusive acts. Psychological abuse becomes an effective weapon in controlling a victim, because she knows through experience that her abuser will at times back up the threats or taunts with physical assaults. Psychological abuse can be indicated when the batterer:
  • Breaks promises, doesn’t follow through on agreements or doesn’t take a fair share of responsibility.
  • Verbally attacks and humiliates his partner in private or public.
  • Attacks her vulnerabilities, such as her language abilities, educational level, skills as a parent, religious and cultural beliefs or physical appearance.
  • Plays mind games, such as when he denies requests he has made previously or when he undercuts her sense of reality.
  • Forces her to do degrading things.
  • Ignores her feelings.
  • Withholds approval or affection as punishment.
  • Regularly threatens to leave or tells his partner to leave.
  • Harasses her about affairs he imagines her to be having.
  • Stalks her.
  • Always claims to be right.
  • Is unfaithful after committing to monogamy.
 
ECONOMIC ABUSE
 
Economic abuse can be indicated when the batterer:
  • Controls all the money.
  • Doesn’t let her work outside the home or sabotages her attempts to work or go to school.
  • Refuses to work and makes her support the family.
  • Ruins her credit rating.

Arkansas Domestic Violence Statistics

Arkansas Domestic Violence Statistics
The Extent of Violence Against Women and Girls in Arkansas

Data collected from national FBI homicide reports concluded the results listed below, where one male attacker killed one female victim:

1997 Arkansas Ranks 3rd in Nation
37 females were murdered by male perpetrators
61% were domestic related*
1998 Arkansas Ranks 3rd in Nation
36 females were murdered by male perpetrators
68% were domestic related*
1999 Arkansas Ranks 13th in Nation
32 females were murdered by male perpetrators
19, or 59% were domestic related*
2000 Arkansas Ranks 7th in Nation
26 females were murdered by male perpetrators
18, or 69% were domestic related*
2001 Arkansas Ranks 7th in Nation
30 females were murdered by male perpetrators
18, or 60% were domestic related*
Arkansas Ranks 1st in the Nation for African American Female Domestic Related Deaths
2002 Arkansas Ranks 11th in Nation
25 females were murdered by male perpetrators
16 or 64% were domestic related*
2003 Arkansas Ranks 18th in Nation
19 females were murdered by male perpetrators.
2004 Arkansas Ranks 12th in Nation
24 females were murdered by male perpetrators.

*Perpetrators were husbands, common-law husbands, boyfriends or ex-boyfriends of victims. 

Note: Men are also victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, however no studies are available reflecting the number of incidents.

Statistics provided by: Violence Policy Center Report, When Men Murder Women, and an annual FBI Supplementary Homicide Report Uniform Crime Reporting Program.

Data Collected by the Arkansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence
2005 26 confirmed females murdered due to domestic violence
2006 17 confirmed females murdered due to domestic violence
2007 We have already surpassed the 2006 total deaths

20 Things You Can Do to Help End Sexual Assault

20 Things You Can Do To Help End Sexual Assault

1.
Become educated about the problem of sexual assault and its consequences.
2.
Speak out against attitudes and behaviors that contribute to a culture where violence against women is condoned and often encouraged.
3.
Men: Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don’t involve degrading or abusing girls and women.
4.
Surveys show that most men who commit violent acts are supported in their attitudes and behaviors by some of the men close to them. As such, men are in a position to support, or challenge, other men’s pro-violence attitudes and behaviors. Do not let your silence infer permission.
5.
Encourage young people to use non-violent means to resolve conflict and learn strategies of cooperation and collaboration.
6.
Believe and support victims of sexual assault. Show survivors that you hold offenders, not victims, accountable for their crime.
7.
There are no innocent bystanders. Speak up and challenge those who would commit acts of sexual violence.
8.
Support organizations in your community that provide services to sexual assault victims.
9.
Teach healthy relationships. Teach that no means no.
10.
Dispel the myths surrounding sexual assault that put the burden of responsibility on the victim and excuses the offender.
11.
Challenge gender roles that place girls and women at risk.
12.
Support harsh penalties for perpetrators of all sexual assault crimes.
13.
Invite your local rape crisis center representative to make a presentation to your group, school or organization.
14.
Instill the values of dignity and respect for all people and cultures.
15.
Support legislation that promotes and protects the rights of all women to live free from fear of personal violence, i.e. sex trafficking, pornography, stalking, sexual solicitation of minors, sexual harassment.
16.
Parent: Take responsibility to talk to your children about sex and healthy relationships, be aware of the negative influences in our culture (music, radio/tv, movies, internet) that tend to demean or devalue women and girls and take steps to counter.
17.
Recognize and speak out against media that creates a toxic cultural environment in which sexual violence is encouraged, i.e. advertisements that glorify and encourage the objectification of women. “Turning a human being into a thing is the first step towards committing violence against that person,” Dr. Jean Kilbourne.
18.
Make sure your institution, organization or business has policies, practices and procedures relating to sexual harassment. For example, a lack of policies in the workplace can send a message that sexual harassment is tolerated, and that there may be few or no consequences for those who harass others.
19.
Violence against women is a choice. Hold those who make that choice accountable.
20.
Teach risk-reduction to girls and women, while realizing that the burden of responsibility for a person’s actions rest upon the shoulders of the person making the choice whether or not to commit a crime.

Remember, non-consensual sexual activity is sexual assault and is a crime, no matter what the circumstances.

ACASA ~ ARKANSAS COALITION AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT
215 N. East Avenue ~ Fayetteville, Arkansas 72701
Phone 479-527-0900 ~ Fax 479-527-0902 ~ Toll Free 1-866-63-ACASA

The above article was taken in its entirety from the ACASA website at http://www.acasa.ws/20_things.html.





Dating Violence Awareness Week

 

The below remarks are from the Director of the Department of Justice's Office on Violence Against Women at http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov.

 

National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week- February 4-8, 2008
A Message from OVW Director, Cindy Dyer

Offical Photo of Cindy Dyer

Let’s take action! Dating violence continues to impact vulnerable individuals, particularly teens. Please join the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW) in our efforts to address the serious issue of dating violence and the behaviors often associated with it during the week of February 4-8, 2008, designated as "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week."

Dating violence can happen to anyone. However, young victims face different obstacles than older, adult victims do. According to recent studies, 20 percent of teenage girls and young women have experienced some form of dating violence. Dating violence can include physical, emotional, verbal, psychological or sexual abuse. Teen dating violence often increases the risks of substance abuse, sexual activity, pregnancy and suicide, especially for female victims. It is important to educate teens and those who can influence them to distinguish violent dating behaviors from healthy behaviors.

“Relationships shape our personal worlds with unforgettable experiences. Violence in any relationship, including teen dating, should never be tolerated. Awareness about dating violence behaviors can help teens and other young adults avoid or end harmful relationships. During the month of February please join the Office on Violence Against Women to raise awareness by sharing resources, joining discussions and becoming informed about the impact of teen dating violence.”

OVW actively supports outreach to teens, families, schools and communities to address the gravity of teen dating violence and promote the development of healthy relationships. The National Advisory Committee on Violence Against Women convened a subcommittee on teen dating violence which provided guidance to OVW on this particular issue. The National Advisory Committee concluded that “teen dating violence is a major public health and safety concern in America” and more collaboration is necessary to strengthen our response to teen dating violence. In 2008, OVW plans to launch a national outreach campaign targeted towards youth. Through these and many other efforts OVW is providing much needed support to address the seriousness of teen dating violence. Please join us in February, and throughout the coming year, to encourage teens and youth to engage in healthy dating behaviors. Thank you for doing your part to help us raise awareness.

Recommendations for Victims of On-Line Stalking and How to Better Protect Yourself On-Line

 The below portion of an article from the Stalking Resource Center was taken from http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_Cyberstalking814.

Recommendations for Victims of On-line Stalking

If you are being harassed on-line, there are several things you should do:

1. If you are under 18, tell your parents or an adult you trust that you are being harassed or threatened. Do not keep this to yourself. Parents must know what is going on to be able to help and support you.

2. If you are getting harassing e-mail, get a new account or request a new log-on name and password from your Internet service provider. Close your old account. Learn how to use the filtering capabilities of your e-mail program to block e-mail from certain addresses.

3. Save every piece of communication you get from the cyberstalker. Save all of the header information you can if it's an e-mail or newsgroup posting. Print a hard copy, and copy the communication to a disk for documentation.

4. Start a log of each communication explaining the situation in more detail. Document how the harassment is affecting your life and what steps you're taking to stop it.

5. Once and only once, contact your harasser directly and state in simple, strong, and formal terms to stop contacting you and/or posting anything about you. State that the communications are unwanted and inappropriate, and that you will take further action if it does not stop. E-mail a copy to the system administrator of your Internet service provider. Save copies of these communications, and note that you sent them in your log.

6. If you receive harassing on-line messages and it is possible to trace the origin of the unwanted message and you have informed the sender that you do not want to be contacted, you may want to consider reporting the on-line stalker to the Internet service provider (ISP) because many ISPs have policies that prohibit the use of their services to harass or abuse another person. Some ISPs may be willing to cancel the stalker's account. If you receive abusive e-mail, identify the domain (letters after the @ sign) and contact the ISP. Most ISPs have an e-mail address such as abuse@[domain name] or postmaster@[domain name] that can be used for complaints. If that does not work, you can usually find contact addresses by going to www.networksolutions.com/cgi-bin/whois/whois (do a "who is" search on whatever ISP you need). If e-mail complaints don't work, make a phone call. Save copies of these communications, and note all contacts in your log.

Keep in mind, however, that this may be just a short-term fix or may even exacerbate the situation if the stalker discovers that you notified the ISP. [Under those circumstances, he/she may attempt to retaliate against you or begin/continue to stalk you off-line. Regardless of whether the on-line stalking ceases, you need to be aware that the stalker may have obtained personal information on you via the Internet or through other sources, and, consequently, you may be still at risk for off-line stalking, in which case you need to do appropriate safety planning.]

7. Contact your local police. Report every incident of on-line abuse and provide the police with copies of evidence you have collected. Save copies of any police incident reports, and note each contact to law enforcement in your log. If the stalker is out of state, you should also contact your local office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Call the FBI Computer Crimes Unit in your local area. [The Federal Interstate Stalking and Prevention Act, 18 U.S.C. Section 2261A, was amended in 2000 to cover on-line stalking as well as stalking by phone and mail. Also, some on-line stalking cases may fall under 18 U.S.C. Section 875, Interstate Communications (to make threats to physically harm or kidnap another person in interstate communications is a felony) or 47 U.S.C. Section 223, Obscene or Harassing Telephone Calls in Interstate Communications.]

In order to better protect yourself on-line:

Use a gender-neutral screen name.

Never give your password to anyone, especially if someone sends you an instant message (IM).

Don't provide your credit card number or other identifying information as proof of age to access or subscribe to a web site run by a company with which you are unfamiliar.

Tell children not give out their real name, address, or phone number over the Internet without permission.

Use a free e-mail account such as Hotmail (www.hotmail.com) or YAHOO! (www.yahoo.com) to pass messages in newsgroups, mailing listings, enter chat rooms, fill out forms, or correspond with someone you don't know well.

Don't give your primary e-mail address out to anyone you don't know.

Spend time on newsgroups, mailing lists, and chat rooms as a "silent" observer before "speaking" or posting messages.

When you do participate on-line, only type what you would say to someone in person.

Don't respond to e-mail from a stranger; when you reply, you are verifying your e-mail address to the sender.

On a regular basis (at least once a month), type your name into Internet search engines to see what information, if any, pops up. To have your name removed from any directories, contact each search engine on which you are listed and request to be removed.

(Tips #1 – 8 were developed by the George Mason University Sexual Assault Services, 1999.)

 

Office on Violence Against Women Webpage on Stalking

 

The below webpage can be found at http://www.enditnow.gov/stalking/tipsheets.html.  It contains active links about making safety plans if you are being stalked and links to state laws on stalking.  For more information on campus, contact Joan Stirling on the Melbourne campus, Gin Brown on the Mountain View campus and Terri Bennett on the Ash Flat campus.

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Tip Sheet

I’m a Stalking Victim

More than 1 million women are stalked each year in the United States, with 1 in 12 women becoming a victim of stalking in her lifetime.1 Stalking is broadly defined as repeated harassment or threatening behavior that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear.2 These behaviors can include unwanted contact, attention, or harassment; invasive communication via e-mail, phone, text message, or mail; and direct or indirect threats.

How Can I Protect Myself?

  • Call 911, if you have an emergency.
  • Create a safety plan that addresses your situation.
  • Consider filing a protective or stay-away order against your stalker.
  • Learn your rights.

For information about creating a safety plan, please visit these Web sites:

For information on protective or stay-away orders, please visit the following Web site or contact your local court:

For information about stalking laws in your state, please visit these Web sites:


1. Patricia Tjaden and Nancy Thoennes, Stalking in America: Findings From the National Violence Against Women Survey, available at: http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles/169592.pdf.

2. Office on Violence Against Women, http://www.usdoj.gov/ovw/aboutstalking.htm.

Are You Being Stalked?

A stalker can be someone you know well or not at all.
Most have dated or been involved with the people they
stalk. About 75 percent of stalking cases are men
stalking women, but men do stalk men, women do stalk
women, and women do stalk men.
 
Some things stalkers do:
?Follow you and show up wherever you are.
?Repeatedly call you, including hang-ups.
?Damage your home, car, or other property.
?Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails.
?Monitor your phone calls or computer use.
?Use technology, like hidden cameras or global
     positioning systems, to track where you go.
?Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work.
?Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets.
?Find out about you by using public records or
     on-line search services, hiring investigators, going
     through your garbage, or contacting friends, family,
     neighbors, or co-workers.
?Other actions that control, track, or frighten you.
The above information was taken from a brochure found on the Stalking Resource Center website and can be found in its entirety at the below website. 
 

National Stalking Awareness Month: Biden, Collins Resolution Released

FOR RELEASE: December 19, 2007

CONTACT:

Elizabeth Alexander (Biden) 202-224-5042

Kevin Kelley (Collins) 202-224-2523

BIDEN, COLLINS Resolution Designates January as National Stalking Awareness Month

Washington, DC –

"Stalking is not a one-time occurrence; this is a crime that leaves its victim fearful 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No place – not even home – is safe if a stalker knows where the victim lives. Victims spend their days and nights looking over their shoulder, often changing jobs, relocating their homes, and even changing their appearance to escape the stalker,"

"I am pleased to join my colleague, Senator Biden, in introducing a Resolution marking January as National Stalking Awareness Month,"

According to the National Center for Victims of Crime and the Stalking Resource Center, approximately 1 million women and 400,000 men are victims of stalking in this country annually. 1 in 12 women and 1 in 45 men will be stalked at some point in their lives, as well as close to 13 percent of female college students. Moreover, today’s technology has made stalking much easier, as stalkers can design websites to encourage others to monitor or harm their victim, install spyware on their victim’s computer or plant global positioning systems (GPS) in their victim’s car to track their victim’s travels. Other technologies, including social networking websites, such as Facebook and MySpace, cell phones with surveillance devices meant for parents monitoring their children, and running shoes implanted with GPS devices, may provide additional opportunities for stalkers to harm their victims. While all fifty states have laws against stalking, only one-third of states have included language relating to stalking via electronic means.

"Stalking is a serious and potentially lethal crime,"

"We can – and we must – do more to ensure that stalking victims are not forced to live in constant fear and that stalkers are brought to justice,"

For victim assistance, call the National Crime Victim Helpline at 1-800-FYI-CALL. Visit www.ncvc.org/src for a map of activities planned around the country for National Stalking Awareness Month and for more information.

###

U.S. Senators Joseph R. Biden, Jr. (D-DE) and Susan Collins (R-ME) introduced a resolution designating January as National Stalking Awareness Month. This is the fifth consecutive year the Senate has considered the resolution, which applauds the efforts of policymakers, law enforcement officers, victim service providers, and other groups that currently promote stalking awareness. said Sen. Biden, author of the landmark Violence Against Women Act. In many instances, victims usually know their stalkers and 81 percent of women victims are also physically assaulted by their stalker. "January is National Stalking Awareness Month – the perfect opportunity for parents, lawmakers and community leaders to carefully review state and local laws on stalking and insist that laws keep pace with technology and protect victims." said Sen. Collins. "In my home state of Maine, domestic violence is a widespread problem. Many experts have concluded that there is a strong connection between stalking and violence toward women. Efforts, such as National Stalking Awareness Month, help raise awareness about this serious and potentially deadly crime." said Mary Lou Leary, executive director of the National Center for Victims of Crime. "We thank Senators Biden and Collins for introducing this National Stalking Awareness Month resolution, which will raise awareness about the impact of stalking on more than 1.4 million Americans each year." added Sen. Biden.

Danielle S. Borrin

Deputy Press Secretary

Office of U.S. Senator Joe Biden, Jr.

danielle_borrin@biden.senate.gov

202-224-5042

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